Edition #19

Hi All!

Here is your weekly serving of practical guidance and inspiration to ensure you live your life with purpose. Feel free to forward this along to friends and family. Enjoy!

I wanted to give a quick shout to the 2 amazing individuals who have joined us since last week. Thanks for being here and welcome to the Never Idle team!

Read Time: 5 Minutes

Master Your Mindset

Controlling the Game of Life: Turning Adversity into Strength

I was sprinting up the sideline!

Gesturing for my teammate to play the ball into the space in front of me.

And he did.

I latched onto the ball and took a heavy touch into the open grass.

I was nearing the edge of the 18-yard box and I took a quick glance to check for teammates to cross the ball to.

Just as I wound up to deliver the cross…CRUNCH!!

The defender running me down scissor-tackled my plant leg.

I went down in a heap, grasping at my leg as I let out a piercing yelp.

The trainer and my coach rushed out onto the field to examine me.

As they did, I knew something was wrong. It hurt too much.

I finally peered down at my leg, my ankle hanging limp.

I was carted off to the side of the field and put into an air cast.

When the game ended I was driven straight to the hospital.

Diagnosis: Torn ankle ligaments and a broken fibula in my right leg.

Treatment: Surgery, a metal plate, and 6 screws put in.

Recovery Time: 8 months.

I broke down. I was crushed.

All my life, since I was 4, I had played soccer. Now for the first time, I had a major injury that would keep me away from the game I loved.

During recovery, I felt sorry for myself. I let myself be defeated not only physically but mentally as well.

I coped with drugs and alcohol.

I chose to respond with negativity instead of determination and resiliency.

I got mad about something that was out of my control.

And this my friends, is the lesson for today.

You cannot control luck.

You cannot control everything that happens to you in life.

But you can control HOW YOU RESPOND to it.

I couldn’t control the injury, but I could have controlled two things that would have improved my preparedness and my reaction.

These 2 things will help you be more prepared to face any negativity that comes up in your life:

1. Negative Visualization

Injuries are a part of playing sports. You don’t want them to happen but you know they are a possibility.

I had never really considered a major injury a possibility because I had gone 16 years in the sport without one. A few sprained ankles, a broken finger, and some scars. Nothing that kept me out long term.

Negative visualization helps you understand what COULD happen.

As Seneca says, “The unexpected blow lands most heavily.”

This type of visualization makes negative possibilities in your life unsurprising.

Hopefully they don’t happen but IF they do, you are mentally prepared for them.

By understanding what bad things COULD happen, you aren’t surprised and it makes it much easier to control your response.

2. The Response

Visualizing the worst-case scenario will have you more prepared if and when you are forced to respond to the actualization of that scenario.

But ultimately when that time comes you still have to choose how you respond.

Not everything negative in your life is as serious as a medical injury.

Sometimes it’s just small things that you may have failed to visualize because they are easy to overlook.

Maybe you planned a picnic with the family but you wake up and it’s downpouring.

Perhaps you are on the way to the beach and suddenly you run into a massive traffic jam.

Whatever the scenario, the less you can respond with emotion and the more you can respond with logic and rationale thinking the better you will become at handling the unexpected.

This is a trained practice. I consider myself an emotional person.

But through conscious effort and awareness, I have reduced the number of times I act on these emotional impulses.

One question often helps me with this:

“Can I control this?”

If the answer is no I need to stop focusing on it and figure out what I can control. My response.

If you have a picnic planned but the weather derails those plans, you have a choice.

Complain about the weather and all the fun things you are missing out on OR refocus on what you can control and channel your energy into something positive.

Maybe you decide to do an indoor activity instead: go out to a restaurant, the movies, or a local arcade.

The day is not ruined unless you allow it to be.

Go through potential scenarios in your head. What things can you begin to prepare for just in case so you aren’t caught off guard?

The next time an obstacle gets in your way, determine if you can control it. If you can’t, redirect toward a solution rather than an emotional response.

By preparing yourself for the unexpected and consciously focusing on how you respond to adversity, you will remove the chaos from your life and put yourself back in the driver’s seat.

Hone Your Habits

Relentlessly Cast Votes

In Atomic Habits, James Clear frames the execution of performing small habits as the act of casting a vote for the type of person you want to become.

This surrounds his overarching point of building identity-based habits — habits focused on an identity you aspire to have — rather than goal-oriented habits — habits built on results you hope to achieve.

Too often we focus on the outcome.

• Where we expect to be in a certain amount of time.

• What we want to happen.

But what we should be focused on instead is:

• Who do we want to become?

• How will we get there?

When you understand the identity you aspire to have, your habits are votes to become that person.

If you want to lose 20lbs, say you start dieting and exercising and you reach the goal, now what? You may slip back into old routines and put the weight back on.

But if you aspire to be a fit and healthy person, the habits of diet and exercise are votes you are casting to become that person.

Essentially, you are acting as if you are that person before you actually become them.

Before you decide which habits you want to build, you should zoom out and identify what type of person — what identity — you want to have.

When you have this answer you can begin to relentlessly cast votes toward becoming that person.

Do this long enough, internalize the habits of that identity, and you will achieve desired outcomes in a sustainable way.

Take Action:

1. Set Your Vision - Decide on your identity

2. Find the habits that someone with this identity possesses

3. Relentlessly cast votes (perform those habits) for life

It is only by doing this, that you will become who you wish to become.

Words of Wisdom

You can complement this weekly newsletter with short reminders, ideas, and thoughts about personal development by following me on Twitter (or X. I can’t get used to that).

Thanks for reading! And always remember…

Slow and steady. Never Idle.

Until next week,

Austin Sargent